Somebody Call the Paramedics.....

I cant do it like I used to. I must be getting old. It's either that or the game has changed. I can remember when you'd meet a girl somewhere, flirt with her, dance with her, walk her to her car at the end of the night, and maybe get a kiss. Let's assume that you both are feeling each other. You would try your hardest not to text her that night... you wouldn't want to seem over zealous. And that lasted about an hour! You'd send her something innocent to try to start a conversation.... "Hope you got home safe, it was nice meeting you". Whether she responded that night or the next day.... it was great. Let's say it got to the point of taling everyday, maybe a few harmless dates.... then real feelings emerge. You can't stop thinking about her, and you don't want to. You can smell her perfume all day, you can feel her lips on yours.... you text each other all day for no apparent reason. You can't wait to get off work to see her. She can't either. You say things to each other like.... "I miss you so much"..... five minutes after she leaves your house. And it's real because that is how you feel......

Things are either not that way anymore.... or I can't find that girl who feels that way about me. Maybe a little of both. I want a girl to feel that way though..... like when she wakes up, she is counting down the hours and minutes until she can see me again. And even if she can't see me..... there is no doubt that we will be talking all day. And if we don't see each other... it's only because it wasn't possible. Not because either one of us was looking for something better to come along. Because if the feelings are real..... there is nothing better that can possibly come along.

Maybe those days are over for me. I still get those feelings though. And I guess that someday someone will get all giddy about me again. I just pray that the feelings are mutual.

My problem has been this.... I follow my heart no matter where it tells me to go. And some people will say that is foolish. I might agree on occasion. But, I am a believer. I believe that true love is out there. I believe that you must truly believe in something for it to be real. I'm in love right now. I'll never be with this person the way I want to be. That's how I feel at this minute. But, be assured, that as soon as I see her smile.... that feeling will change. Not that it matters too much if her feelings are nowhere close to mine. I can't figure it out because the words are always there.... but words are just words.